In the wake of the #MeToo Campaign that has been rolling across social media in the last couple of days, I wanted to share a little bit about my personal experiences with sexual assault and harassment. This is not simply an important conversation to be having with your teens, but a necessary one. Regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or age, these are the social issues that matter because they affect so many people’s lives.
Full disclosure: I was a victim of sexual harassment. I was in my last year of the PhD program at York University. I was about to defend my thesis when one of my professors suggested that I engage in sexual activity with him. I was married at the time, as was he. He was also about 30 years older than me. I was intimidated and afraid. I feared what would happen on my oral defence as he was on the panel and could pass or fail me.
Every time I hear cases of other women being victims of sexual harassment or sexual assault, it brings me back to that time in my life. I imagine that others feel this way as well.
What is it about our culture that makes men, and often men who are in positions of power, believe that they can treat women this way? Sexual assault and sexual harassment is not necessarily about sex, but more often about power – the power dynamic between men in positions of authority using that power to intimidate women, who do not have that same power.
This victimization of women goes back centuries. However, it was not and has not been something openly talked about. It was just expected that men could get away with it as women lacked the power to speak up. As women find their voice and gain support from others, as they access their own power without fear of reprisal, hopefully the culture will change.
If you have been a victim of sexual harassment in the workplace or sexual assault, unfortunately, you are not alone. Do not be silent. Find the courage to speak up, even to a small group of people. If you need support in doing so speak to a therapist.
Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.
