We all understand that parenting is a demanding job, with long hours, limited positive feedback and limited immediate gratification. One study quoted in the article suggested that in Europe 7% of parents are suffering from burnout. This study noted that burnout is defined as severe exhaustion, deriving no satisfaction from being a parent and distancing oneself from the children. Mothers suffered burnout more than fathers, but fathers did account for 30% of the cases. Those parents that were most at risk for burnout were perfectionists with limited social support. They were also highly invested in their children and expected a lot from them. Another consistent trait was guilt… parents who felt that they could not measure up to their own standards, let alone what they thought society expected of them. Depression and anxiety were also identified in these parents, both as a predetermining risk factor but also as a consequence of burnout. While some of these parents had fantasies about running away, thinking that their families would be better off without them, we know that parents cannot resign from this job. 

So how do we address this problem? Urge parents who are struggling to cope to seek help. Maybe parents need to be a little selfish sometimes’ and see self-care as a parenting practice that makes life better for their children. In addition, find a trusted babysitter and do not feel guilty about it.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post Parental Stress & Burnout: The Importance of Self-Care for Parents appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

Now is the time for Ontario to examine and implement new initiatives, such as the Hope Squad. Our youth are struggling and mental health issues are on the rise. The Hope Squad operates within a school from Grades 4-12 and are the eyes and ears of ‘at risk’ youth. Hope Squad members are nominated by their peers and with the support of their parents become involved in training programs that are age specific. The training program begins in the junior grades with a focus on anti-bullying, compassion and resiliency and then explores stress, stigma and suicide prevention in the senior grades. Through the educational process children learn about connecting with others, inclusion and promote school spirit, all the while encouraging a compassionate and supportive environment.

Below are links to Hope Squad videos and media coverage:

People Magazine Article June 2019
NBC Nightly News Hope Squad
Circles4Hope Community Model
Hope Squad Program
Springville High Hope Squad Member A Peer Based Support System
ABC 4 Utah Hope Squad Elementary

Please contact us if you wish to learn more.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post Hope Squad: How Can It Help Reduce Youth Suicides? appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

• Feeling depressed, irritable, angry, anxious or overwhelmed
• Fatigue
• Lack of interest or motivation
• Difficulty concentrating
• Tension
• Trouble sleeping

When we can’t change a stressor we need to cope and reduce its impact. Building resilience is one such coping method. How do we build resilience?

• Positive self-talk. Repeatedly telling ourselves that we are strong and able to cope especially in the face of a stressor that we cannot change, can help us remain confident and calm.
• Self-care. Getting enough sleep, eating well, being physically active, making time for activities that we enjoy and avoiding the overuse of alcohol and drugs will improve our ability to better tolerate stress and recover more effectively
• Relaxation techniques: learning deep breathing techniques, mindfulness, humour, playing music, think forward (imagining a future scene when things look and feel different), break away and distract yourself.
• Seek help

Human beings have a tendency to ruminate more on bad experiences than positive ones. It is an evolutionary adaptation that helps us avoid danger and react quickly in times of crisis. But constant negativity can get in the way of happiness and add to our stress and worry level and ultimately damage our health.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post Coping with Stress: How to Build Resilience appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

Here are four ways to help keep your relationship with your teenager intact:

1. Keep the lines of communication open – You might not always like what your teen has to say but it is important that they feel they can confide in you. That way you can help them make good choices and assist them in times of struggle. Their peer group is such a strong source of influence during these years that if you can have a voice too (and ideally be a voice of reason), your teen will listen to your advice.
2. Try not to judge – It’s hard not to judge our teens choices, especially when we don’t agree with them. It is possible they aren’t happy with themselves either but have too much pride to let you know.  Try to keep an open mind and be willing to consider all sides. Furthermore, try to be mindful of your tone and body language as you listen to them.
3. Spend quality time together – When the relationship is strained, the last thing you may want to do is spend time with your teen, especially if most of that time is spent arguing. All relationships get stuck in a rut. Suggest doing an activity your teen enjoys (movies, dinner, ice cream, shopping). Whatever it is, it is a way to spend it together doing what they enjoy and a way to break the cycle of fighting.
4. Try to empathize (whether or not you understand or relate) – For many parents, when their kids complain about something that occurred on social media (i.e., a friend deleted pics of your teen, a friend of theirs posted pics of a get together they weren’t invited to), they don’t understand why it’s a big deal. Regardless of whether you can understand where your teen is coming from, situations like this can be a big deal to them and they want your support and compassion. Using phrases like, “That must be very upsetting” and validating their feelings is important.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post 4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Your Teenager appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

All of these scenarios can be quite common for people who struggle with anxiety. It is comforting to have a routine and a sense of predictability and any changes can derail that. Many people find they are creatures of habit and thrive when they know what to expect. As a result, change of any kind can trigger anxious feelings. With change comes a certain degree of uncertainty and the unknown is scary. Yet, change is often a good thing!

Here are some tips to navigate transitions and times of change in a way that helps keep your anxiety at bay:

1. Practice relaxation and mindfulness: Make sure that you are using relaxation to help with the physical feelings of anxiety you may be experiencing. Taking deep breaths, going for walks, listening to mindfulness recordings (i.e., Calm, Headspace etc) can help lessen your symptoms.
2. Try to zone in on your anxious thoughts: What is going through your head? Is there evidence to show your worry thoughts are realistic? What is more likely to happen? Write these things down, it helps to see it in front of you and get the thoughts out of your head.
3. Think about other times you’ve made changes/experienced a transition: How did it turn out? Were many of your fears unwarranted?
4. Stick to a routine: While there can be an element of flexibility to the routine, the less time we give ourselves to ruminate the better! Build in activities such as going to the gym, spending time with friends and family and other things you enjoy. This will boost your mood and lessen your anxiety.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post School’s Out: 5 Tips to Help Navigate End of Year Transitions and Anxiety appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

Here are 5 tips to help you access support for your child and yourself.

1. Share the report with your child’s school.

• If you are comfortable sharing the information in the report it is advisable to share it with the school. This will ensure your child has access to the support he/she needs. The school has its own procedures in place so that an individual education plan (IEP) can be created for your child on the basis of the report.
• The report will contain many helpful recommendations for the school to follow.

2. Share the report with your child’s doctor.

• If you are considering medication, it will be important to visit your child’s doctor to discuss the options that are available. Medication is not a “one size fits all” solution and may require some trial and error. Depending on the severity of your child’s condition and the symptoms they are experiencing, therapy and medication may be the best treatment approach.

3. Connect with a parent support group.

• Many parents themselves experience a range of emotions after their child has received a diagnosis. Joining a group with other parents who have gone through a similar experience can be helpful. This can be an opportunity to share stories, ask questions and get answers.

4. Read books and check out online resources.

• The psychologist, your child’s teacher and/or physician can recommend books and websites with helpful information for you. Find out which ones are reputable, with evidence-based treatment approaches.

5. Look into community agencies that offer resources for parents and children.

• Many of the agencies that are government funded have lengthy waitlists so make sure to get on the list right away. This way you can access free supports for yourself and your child. This may include therapy (individual, group, family etc.), parent groups and or further treatment/assessments.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post Your Child Has Received a Diagnosis, Now What? appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

There may also be some anxiety about all the studying that lies ahead…

The good news is, you have unknowingly stored away much of what was taught to you, there’s just some reviewing to do and you’ll be good to go!

Here are a few tips that will help you ease into exam season like a pro…

Tip 1: Know what you already know

Think back on what you have learned already. Review your notes, assignments and/or lectures.

Make a priority list or mark what you already have a good grasp on, what you need to review and what you need to learn from the beginning. This way you will see what needs your attention first.

You can also make an appointment with your professor, attend a study session or get together with your classmates. This will give you time to review the concepts well in advance and have you feeling more confident on exam day!

Pro tip: Keep an eye out for what has been emphasized over the semester by the professor. It will most likely appear on the exam.

Tip 2: Take study breaks

Studies show that taking a break in between work helps in the long run. If you don’t have time for walks or fun distractions, distract yourself with other work! If you need a 15-minute break from your assignment, go ahead and get organized with other things to be done on your list. Colour code your notes or build a time table with slots for studying for the next week.

Pro tip: When you are studying, try to study in smaller increments. This will help your mind consolidate all the information you are taking in!

Tip 3: Switch it up

Try to find what makes you happy when studying. If that means you need to write out all your notes with colourfull inks, go for it!

Pro tip: Listening to music, studying in a coffee shop or studying in a group can also help to keep you engaged.

Tip 4: Set goals with rewards!

Set small goals during your study session such as completing a page of notes, finishing a problem set and so on. When these are accomplished, give yourself a small amount of free time to do what you like (this would a great time to check those social media notifications).

When you are finished with larger goals like finishing a whole chapter, reward yourself with a snack, your favourite YouTube video or anything else that makes you happy!

Good luck and happy studying!

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post 5 Tips to Prepare for Exams and Deal with Anxiety appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

It comes as no surprise that up to 15% of children and adolescents struggle with depression. Because many teens are moody and withdrawn at times, it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish “typical teenage angst” from clinical depression. Looking for changes in behaviour that are markedly different from your teens normal functioning can help.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry released a set of guidelines to help you determine if your teenager is suffering from depression. These include:

• appearing sad, irritable, or tearful
• changes in appetite or weight
• a decreased interest in activities your teen once found pleasurable
• a decrease in energy
• difficulty concentrating
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
• major changes in sleeping habits
• regular complaints of boredom
• talk of suicide
• withdrawal from friends or after-school activities
• worsening school performance

Treating depression is not a “one size fits all” approach as there are different causes and severity of symptoms. Some of the most common and effective treatments include medication (SSRI’s, SNRI’s, Tricyclic Antidepressants etc.), therapy (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), changes in diet and exercise, and improved sleep hygiene.

If you are concerned your teen is suffering from depression, try to bring up your concerns in a non-judgmental way. Let them know what you’ve observed and be ready to listen. Be patient as your teen may not be ready to open up right away. When they eventually do, it is important to validate their feelings rather than minimize them. Make sure they feel understood and supported. Communicate to them that you are ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post Depression in Adolescence: What to Look for and How to Help appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

Did you know that among adults with Anxiety Disorder, 9.5% also have ADHD?

Common to both disorders is motor restlessness, poor concentration and irritability.

Things that distinguish the two are:

• Those with ADHD also have forgetfulness, procrastination, disorganization, impatience and struggle to follow through on planned behaviour. The symptoms also start before age 7.
• Those with Anxiety Disorders have excessive worry, fatigue, sleep disturbance and muscle tension.  Symptoms typically start in childhood and adolescence.

Both conditions impact work and relationships. ADHD also impacts academic functioning.

It is therefore important that if you feel that you are suffering from any of these conditions that you receive a proper assessment.  While you may feel that you have ADHD, you might be suffering with an anxiety disorder that is impacting your concentration and attention. Ensuring that you have the correct diagnosis will also ensure that you are being treated for the right condition.  Speak to your doctor and get referred to a specialist in the area of ADHD.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post What is the Relationship Between ADHD and Anxiety? appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.

1) Academic and Mental Health Support

Sometimes we can get so caught up in researching classes, we forget about things such as academic and mental health support.

With so many options out there it can sometimes feel a little overwhelming.

Now, you may be wondering what to look for…

If you aren’t sure where to get started, a few popular support systems include mentoring, counselling or tutoring.

If something seems a little unclear on the website, don’t be afraid to call the accessibilities services department or visit the campus.

2) Connect With a Therapist

Transitioning from high school to college/university comes with a lot of changes.

Everything from making new friends to staying on top of homework can cause a lot of stress and anxiety.

If you already have a therapist you like, that’s great!

Seeing them as needed throughout college can be very beneficial for your mental health.

Wondering what to do if your school is out of town?

Sit down with your current therapist and ask if they can recommend anybody closer to your school.

3) Connect With an Advisor

Do you ever have one of those days where you keep second-guessing yourself and can’t seem to make a decision?

That happens to the best of us, especially when we are under pressure.

If you find yourself contemplating your academic decisions, visiting an academic advisor at college/university can be a tremendous help!

For example, wanting to pick the right courses can be quite stressful.

Getting an academic advisors recommendations not only confirms you are on the right track but can also bring down your anxiety levels.

Plus, knowing someone is there if you need them can help give you that extra sense of security.

4) Additional considerations

Should you wish to have academic accommodations, you will require a recent psycho-educational assessment. If you had an assessment in the past, keep in mind that all assessments are valid for 2 years and you may require an updated adult one.

First year courses in college/university can have hundreds of students and be quite intimidating. You may find it less anxiety provoking to take seminar style classes with fewer students.

Keep in mind that most course work is done outside of class time. Given the increased workload, it may be beneficial to take fewer courses and make up classes in the spring/summer if you want to graduate on time.

Alter, Stuckler & Associates are a team of registered psychologists and a social worker that provide compassionate psychological care. We have provided service to individuals, couples and families from Thornhill, Markham, Vaughan and throughout the Greater Toronto Area for more than 30 years. Have a question for our team? Contact us today.

The post How to Pick the Right College or University for You appeared first on Stuckler & Associates.